(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ manipulation
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ mindgames
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ murder
During my sophomore year of highschool I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I’ve talked about it a bit on my tumblr before, and when I was first diagnosed I made a post about it. A week or so after I made that post I was at a football game to support the marching band I was a member of (I had to drop out of the season because the loud sounds gave me panic attacks, but feeling guilty for abandoning my team, I stuck in some ear plugs and came out to cheer them on), and after 20 minutes or so I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay so I was trying to get my mom to come and take me home.
convergentmargins, feminems, and forteford came up to me and invited me to go out and eat with them at a restaurant down the road. I knew them from band but wasn’t close to them like others were. Because of my depression I could only think that they wanted to hang out with me because they pitied me, and was wary of going. But after some convincing, I tagged along.
I remember we sat in a Mexican place and just casually talked about depression, religion, and all sorts of things. No one had really vocally acknowledged my depression until then - even I didn’t come out and say it. I would just tell people that I was sick or had a “chemical imbalance”. After we ate we drove around and ended up trying to infiltrate a sex shop to no avail.
I often think about this night and just how much it meant to me to feel normal again, even if only for a little while. Instead of being embarrassed and ashamed of my depression, I was seen as a person living with depression and not thought any less of because of that. I attribute a handful of people to helping me beat depression, and you three definitely made an impact on how I saw myself and how I felt others could see me. I’ve been meaning to make this post for a long time because I never really thanked you for changing my perspective.
So, thanks for asking a sad girl with pink hair out to dinner. It meant more than you’ll ever know. <3